Dreams of Parent University

If there were a parent university, some things I would like them to teach, so I would not have to learn the hard way.

1. What to do when you know someone else's kid is doing something that they should not be doing. Problem: if you take the risk to tell the parent, even if it is your friend, they will be angry at you, no matter how you do it. Some people live in denial, alas, or they think you are being holier-than-thou or they think you are judging their kid.

2. What to do when you find out that your own kid is doing something inappropriate, but you cannot reveal your source.

• The counselor says you cannot tell your kid, for ex, that someone at school said they are bullying someone else. Your kid deserves to know whether it is malicious gossip or from a reliable source.
• If you find out your kid is doing something inappropriate at school, and you want the school to do something about it for consequences, the school cannot confront the kid unless you reveal your source, so that the school can tell the kid what the allegation is.

3. How to interpret adolescent emotions.......are they warning signs or are they just typical behavior for the age group.

4. How to avoid "trying to be your child's friend" while simultaneously maintaining a relationship with them with an open channel of communication.

5. When to intervene and when to let your child learn the hard way.

6. If they have some positive friends and some negative friends, how to avoid being autocratic about their social life while limiting their exposure to the negative friends.

7. [will update as needed.] 10/31/10